The Top Six Levels

We will start with the National League lower level.

From York to Bradford: The National League North

There are many teams here but York are at the top and Bradford Park Avenue are at the bottom. The playoff places are filled by Spennymoor in the north, Brackley in the south, Kings Lynn Town and Boston United in the east and Altrincham and Chester in the west. Sadly we will not see the playoffs take place this year and I gather there is unlikely to be any promotion or relegation now. Strange times.


Oxford and Tonbridge Angels: The National League South

Wealdstone sit at the top and will be the unlucky recipients of a lack or promotion. The lucky recipients of a lack of relegation will be Hungerford Town. The lack of playoff matches apply to Havant & Waterlooville, Weymouth, Bath City, Slough Town, Dartford and Dorking Wanderers. I have followed Concord Rangers for a long time and noted their progress under Danny Cowley. Braintree Town overperformed when he took over there and they had great success for a part time club.


From Wrexham to Dover: The National League

Barrow sit at the top and wait to be robbed of their place in the Football League although the Bury situation may mean that they are promoted anyway. There is talk that the Football League matches will be played to completion and then we will see the promotions and relegations that make the whole process worthwhile. If Barrow then gain promotion with no Football League club coming down to replace them then there will be adjustments down or a deal to be done with Bury Football Club.


The Crewe are in Stevenage: Football League Two

The automatic promotion places are occupied by Crewe Alexandra, Swindon Town and Plymouth Argyle. The playoff places contain Exeter City, Cheltenham Town, Colchester United and Northampton Town. With Bury being thrown out of the league the only team in relegation danger is Stevenage. Salford City are safely in the middle of the table at the end of their first season in the Football League.


Bury are sent to Coventry: Football League One

Bury are shown at the bottom of the table as an expelled club. The relegation zone contains Tranmere Rovers and Southend United (it must be the Friday night curse) and Bolton Wanderers. Coventry City and Rotherham United are in the automatic promotion slots and the playoff places are occupied by Oxford United, Portsmouth, Fleetwood Town and Peterborough United. Sunderland sit just outside the playoffs so will probably have to remain at this level for another season.


Guess who Leeds?: Football Championship

Leeds United and West Bromwich Albion are sat in the automatic promotion places and are followed by playoff contenders Fulham and Brentford with Nottingham Forest and Preston North End. The relegation chasers are Charlton Athletic, Luton Town and Barnsley. In the middle of the table are a whole raft of teams that have Premier League experience. The money needed at Premier League level is now such that any team gaining promotion needs to learn fast and stay up once they reach that level.


The Money Tree: Premier League

Liverpool have won the league by a mile .... unless this season is declared null and void which would be massively entertaining for fans of all the other clubs but a nightmare for the Liverpool fans. The relegated clubs would be Bournemouth, Aston Villa and Norwich City if things remain as they stand. Tottenham and Arsenal sit just outside the European places so they would be the losers if nothing moves and Sheffield United with Wolverhampton Wanderers would be the beneficiaries. Leicester City have now earned their place as one of the top clubs in the country.

Missing Matches

So what are we missing today?

Saturday 18th April:

1) Arsenal v. Leicester

2) Brentford v. Preston North End

3) Southend United v. Portsmouth

4) Exeter City v. Carlisle United

5) Torquay United v. Dover Athletic

6) Weymouth v. Tonbridge Angels

7) Gosport Borough v. Tiverton Town

8) Barnstaple Town v. Cirencester Town

9) Exmouth Town v. Odd Town

10) Torrington v. Elmore Eagles

11) Liverton United fixtures were only released a week or two before and kept changing so I will never know what should have been going on this weekend.

The local leagues were listed in a similar manner to Liverton United. We will never know.

There will be no results as COVID-19 has taken over. It's a bit like the Nazis only smaller.

Strange Times

We are living in strange times.

Today my lunch was one giant crumpet with lashings of low cholesterol margarine and a glass of pink grapefruit juice followed by part of an easter egg with a cup of tea.

I am also now using Brave without knowledge of the risks rather than Google Chrome that has been slowing everything down by loading advertisements and I hear tracking my progress around the web.

Football goes on as normal, however, and whilst I could have said that for every other year that I have been alive this year things have changed. Football in all its guises has STOPPED.

Nobody KNOWS what is going to happen as whatever happens I can see challenges in the courts taking place by those who will lose the most money as a result of the decisions taken. Football is no longer a sport, it is a business and the money men will fight tooth and nail and probably even murder their own grandmothers for £5.

It has given me a chance to catch up on my league tables and I always look at those tables at this time of year to see which clubs are likely to rise and which ones are destined to fall. This season MIGHT be the season where nothing changes. It is one of many options and it would be unfair to many teams, most notably Jersey who need to be promoted and earn more money to cover the costs of transporting their opponents to the channel islands.

This post, however, is intended to cover the professional game from level 8 (Step 4) all the way to the top. I have decided to come up with a nickname for each of the leagues, a task which started when I looked at The Isthmian League South Central.


The Laundry League: Isthmian League South Central

Ware at the top and Staines at the bottom. Ware are six points clear at the top and probably deserve promotion while at the bottom Staines could have finished above FC Romania. In the middle of the table sit the boys from South Park "Oh no, they killed Kenny" and the four teams in the playoff places are Hanwell Town, Uxbridge, Chertsey Town and Westfield (one of two in the professional Leagues, the third is called Westfields (plural)).


The Southern Towns League: Southern League Division One South

Thatcham Town are in the lead on goal difference over Frome Town with Barnstaple Town at the bottom just below Basingstoke Town. Melksham Town, Cirencester Town, Cinderford Town and Highworth Town all play in this league so I expect Winchester City to buck their ideas up and move to a better level cognisant with their name (although I expect THEM to spell that word cognizant).


The Class League: Northern Premier League North West Division

From Workington AFC at the top to Pickering Town at the bottom. The leaders are working and the losers are Picking or Pickering to make a living. Those two places seem settled looking at the table and the playoff places hold Ramsbottom United, Marine, Pontefract Collieries and Marske United. Clitheroe are currently sixth and I am sure many men have started typing their name without completing it. Kendal Town is a place I have long wanted to watch a match as it is in the Lake District.


The Northern Towns League: Northern Premier League South East Division

Leek Town at the top (I tried to work a toilet joke in there) and Wisbech Town at the bottom (more waterworks ideas). I tried to Chasetown some toilet jokes but that ended in a dead Glossop North End. Newcastle Town and Worksop Town got me thinking differently and when I found Ilkeston Town and Sutton Coldfield Town I changed my plan. Alongside Stamford in the playoff places are Cleethorpes Town, Belper Town and Carlton Town.


The ABCD League: Southern League Division One South

I found at least two teams each starting with these early letters of the alphabet so the league has earned its names as a result of containing Aylesbury United (in the playoff places) and AFC Dunstable. The Bs are Berkhamsted, Biggleswade, Barton Rovers, Bedworth United and Bedford Town. We have Corby Town and Coleshill Town starting with a C and finally Daventry Town and Didcot Town starting with a D. The other teams have no chance of being top of the table at the start of next season.


The Phoenix League: Isthmian League South East Division

Looking at the teams and listening to the television I believe I was triggered by the wildlife program talking about various birds while I was looking directly at Whitehawk, another bird. Phoenix Sports have very little to do with Albus Dumbledore as far as I know but I have personally watched birdlife in Hastings, Guernsey, Whitstable and Ramsgate. I do hope the pigeons stay and continue stealing chips once the Corona Virus has disappeared. Not funny when it happens to you it is funny to watch others lose their food.


The Essex Man League: Isthmian League North Division

This would have been a league I could have watched if I had not left Essex long ago. In my young years I heard about Basildon United, Grays Athletic and Canvey Island fielding East London boys, hard as nails and with no fear. Great Wakering Rovers played on the pitch next to the one I played on and Maldon & Tiptree was where my church took us on the Sunday School outing. This league has expanded north and now includes Cambridge City and Dereham Town. Romford are the true East End of London side.



Level 7 (Step 3) now has four leagues, up from the previous three.

The Worthing League: Isthmian League Premier Division

My choice of name because they are top of the league and deserve promotion but nothing is certain and they could be the second biggest losers of Covid-19 after Jersey Bulls. I just checked up on their chairman George Dowell who invested his own money into the club when he lost his mobility and ended up in a wheelchair but I see that he stepped down a couple of years ago. He is still the owner, however, so I support the club in their legal appeal against the 2019-20 season being called null and void. The club may never again have the chance of promotion to the National League. Life is uncertain.


The South Shields League: Northern Premier League Premier Division

The long standing problem of the Northern League being too strong for Level 9 (Step 5) seems to be resolving itself so we need teams that earn promotion straight through this league to move on and prove that money will come rolling in if the Northern League clubs take the risk of being promoted into the Football Pyramid system. South Shields are well clear of the other clubs so deserve a chance at the higher level. Stopping the promotion of teams like this will have retrograde knock-on effects.


The Kings Diamonds League: Southern League Premier Central Division

Probably the hardest league to name I just picked two clubs in the middle and joined parts of their names together. Kings Langley and AFC Rushden & Diamonds are responsible for the name. Peterborough Sports are ahead on goal difference from Tamworth. Royston Town, Bromsgrove Sporting and Rushall Olympic are the other teams in the playoff places.
Alvechurch and Redditch United are the two teams that would benefit from a lack of change this summer.


The Tiverton and Taunton League: Southern League Premier Division South

With Truro City at the top and Chesham United in second, Hayes & Yeading United in third and Swindon Supermarine in fourth my attention was drawn to the bottom of the playoff places with Tiverton Town just inside and Taunton Town just outside. Knowing that Tiverton v. Taunton is a regular pre-season match the name seemed to fit and I have used it. Salisbury is the team I always wanted to take over as there is no competition for miles around but I think I have learned that local competition is important. The big city teams often play best against other teams from the same city.


I think that will do for now and I hope that I do continue before long travelling both up the National League to the Football League and down to the many many leagues that form Level 9 (Step 5). Keep reading and let me know if you have any comments or even arguments.